Category Archives: Fiction

Bee’s guide to dating

An Nguyen (who prefers being called Bee), is a student from Vu Trong Phung High School in Hanoi, Vietnam. She plans to publish her first self-help book by the end of 2017. Bee has been contributing to Tuoi Hoa magazine since 2006.

Even though I have never dated anyone before, I’ve heard a lot of dating stories from my friends and helped them solve so many relationship problems. So that’s enough to say my knowledge about dating is pretty thorough and most important of all, updated.

1st rule of dating: Pretty boys are assholes.

This philosophy has been achieved from comprehensive analysis of several relationships I know. It’s simple. Pretty boys are desired by many, so it’s easy for them to be 1) a player or 2) a cheater. Don’t be blinded by their physical attractiveness. Stay away from them.

2nd rule of dating: Pretty girls are still nice

Because girls are better than boys.

3rd rule of dating: Ugly boys are a waste of time

Not nice to look at. And usually not interesting either. If an ugly guy asks you out, don’t bother considering his personalities or whatever. Say no as fast as you can.

4th rule of dating: Ugly girls are…Nope, there’s no ugly girl. 

Girls are always so soft and clean and their curves are mother nature’s blessing. If you don’t find a girl beautiful the first time you meet her, you will the second time.

And if you have met her so many times but still find her unattractive. Try asking her a complicated problem-solving question. Chances are she’s super brainy and what else can top that?

12:20 am 15/9/2017 – Huong P.

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

The King of Cats – part 1

Since the day I was able to walk with my mother along the lakeside, and sneak among the twisted twins and twigs of the trees nearby, I have always wished to be the king of cats, to have anything whenever I want it. I feel a sensation all over my body whenever I imagine that other cats have to hail me as king, and follow my every order.

Little did I know about the misfortune that would happen to me. One day, I woke up without my mother by my side. I yelled until my throat burned but she never came back. I searched for her everywhere but in vain. At that moment, I swore to myself that I would do anything to be the king of cats, so that I could force my army to find my mother and punish her for what she had done to me.

How I survived until this day is a matter of mystery. I could write my story into an epic poem, but I would not, because my energy has to be saved for planning – planning is something not to live without if someone really wants to achieve something big, like I do.

For a week after my mother left me, I was starved. My mother had always found food somewhere and brought into our cave for me. The only times she let me out was when she wanted me to stroll with her along the lakeside. I had no food finding skill whatsoever. There was one time I found a tiny dead fish near the lake. It smelled familiar so I tried, and it kept my stomach still for about three grummms – three-eighth of a day!

Humans always tell one another, “Lady Luck favors ones who try”. I didn’t even try once, but I guess Destiny just does anything to make me the king of all cats. One day, when looking for another dead fish, I was lost and found myself inside a strange garden. I was too hungry at the moment to try finding a way out, so I just lay down and slept.

But I was awaken by a very strong smell of fish. I couldn’t believe my eyes. A bowl full of tiny fish and something incredibly white and fluffy was right in front of me. I shoved my mouth into the bowl without even thinking.

Barely had I finished the food when I saw a creature so big – something that I now know as “human”. I was not terrified at all, but I still reminded myself to be vigilant. However, that creature just watched me, and then walked away.

The hunger was over, and I was able to find a small hole that allowed me to squeeze through and get out. But I couldn’t help but coming back into that garden the next day, and many days after that. Each time, the creature brought me a bowl full of food similar to what my mother had always fed me.